What does being Hmong mean?
Really, what does it mean? If you ask me, the numerous things on my mind are:
1. Duh! It means that I am Hmong!
2. It means that my family does that tying cotton thread around the wrist ceremony.
3. It means that respect for my independence is nonexistent, regardless of my age.
4. It means that I am obligated to the culture of humbleness.
5. I can’t marry outside of my ethnicity.
6. I am supposed to cook, clean, and take care of the family.
It kinda ends there. Oh, were you expecting more? Okay, just for kicks here are several more.
7. We have freshly butchered chickens, pigs, cows, and even squirrels. LOL.
8. We have nothing against vegetables because it fills half of our refrigerators and freezers.
9. Oh yeah, by the way, we may have multiple freezers filled to the brim with junk—we’re hoarders of butchering by the bulk and saving meats, veggies and fruits to be used at a later date.
Oh please, please, pretty please, can I add this next one? Thank you.
10. We may know of a father, an uncle, a grandfather, a brother, a friend, or a friend of a friend who may have in the past, or maybe, from hearsay or rumors about these individuals who have traveled to Laos or Thailand to fulfill their double life as a pedophile.
I had to! It’s true! Isn’t it? It’s not something anyone likes to think about, but it’s true. This article isn’t really concerning what it means to be Hmong. This article is about an ongoing issue we see in today’s society in the news media.
Let me start on something so basic that we see at Hmong New Year celebrations and tournaments. Let’s consider music videos, posters, and pictures. A lot of these depict young girls dressed up half naked, shaking their little booties, and smiling ever-so-sweetly into the camera. What happens when the camera is off?
Are Thai mothers the only mothers in the world who are known to be willing to sell their daughters sexually?
Have you seen pictures of young women posing in the wilderness next to an old tree or a beautiful waterfall? What happens when the photo shoot is out of town? What if it is too dark to continue the trek back home? Grab a drink or two. Lose a piece of clothing or two. This is all it takes for a pedophile to do the job.
There’s a process called “grooming,” which pedophiles often use. They provide for children’s “needs” and “wants” to gain their trust and dependency. Then they make their move using the children’s guilt and innocence.
Sometimes, it’s just a small payment for the mother, father, brother, sister, and so on and so forth.
Lately, sexual abuse has been riding the news tide. You hear reports of sexual abuse cases from Florida to California. Now these cases are far away from me as I live in Wisconsin. These cases may be far away from you too, but going back to the 10th meaning of being Hmong. What makes you think that this father, uncle, grandfather, brother, or friend—maybe rumors—isn’t going to do their sinful deeds on U.S. soil?
You can’t hide from it. It’s in the news media every night. It’s in your city or township. It’s probably in your neighborhood. And maybe, it’s probably in your own household.
According to almost every child predator (please, feel free to conduct a research), their sickness is an addiction and a disorder. According to a member of The Whos, Pete Townshend, a registered sex offender, writes that the internet provides accessible child porn, “…like a free line of cocaine at a decadent cocktail party: only the strong willed or terminally uncurious can resist.”
You’re probably at the point of where you’re asking me: What’s the point to this story? I’ll tell you the truth! I was molested at the age of three years and again at seven. Even the deepest and darkest of places couldn’t hide those memories from me!
I didn’t learn what sexual abuse was until the fourth grade.
I told my older cousin, who was also my idol, an indirect story that a relative of ours was using my younger sister as the victim. She pulled me aside and asked if I had told anyone else, to which I quickly replied no. She told me that I ought to never utter it ever again unless I wanted to ruin a family and take a father away from his children and wife, as well as to become a kid where you are known as a home wrecker. I tried to bring up the situation again with a family member and was scolded by threatening comments in my native tongue which included these remarks: Do you want to be taken away by the police? You’ll never get to see your family again! You’re going to break up a family and leave the children without their father!
I took their advice and it never bothered me until the memories were stirred again when I was seventeen years old. The first man who molested me is finally in jail! I’m 25 years old now. He was arrested two years ago for molesting his niece. More relatives came out with allegations, especially the young girls who were his prior victims. (Parents denied the boys to share their misfortune due to embarrassment.)
In hindsight, if only I had the courage and encouragement to speak out, I would have saved all these young boys and girls. It’s important for children and adults alike to know that sexual abuse is not okay and that penalties against these predators are called “justices.” It is not called “your fault.”
It may seem like a random talk, but encouragement is empowerment. Let children know that they will be taken seriously by a loved one and if not, to speak to the police. Children losing their courage to voice sexual abuses are the most heartbreaking losses of all. Talk with your child or a child you know today, spread these words of empowerment, it doesn’t matter who you talk to, as this education can save another child today. Awareness is the key to fight against all child predators.
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It was confusing at first, but at the end there was a message that many are afraid to talk about. With our culture, we’re afraid to speak out about these issues and I’m glad you had the courage to speak out, thanks.
thank you saul. i know it twisted around quite a bit. i didn’t want it to sound like the typical health class information. this stuff hits deep and the message needs to get out there in a different way. i hope it did. thank you again for your comment!
Just one question, where do we live? How did we got into this world? Can anyone give me the answer?
huh?!?
@Dylan, that’s not just one question, it’s three total and where are you going with those questions anyway?
Yep, for sure many of the victims are not speak out because they’re afraid of what the parents will said and will only scold them.
I like #8 & #9 on the list, my mom sure does have those store in the garage, multiple freezers filled with veggies and meat
Hi Dylan, I’m with Bavada… but to answer your questions.. where do we live? on the planet earth in the milky way galaxy, as far as I have been told. how did we get into the world? nobody knows, but almost everyone has theories. :p
Hum…interesting way of writing an article. A good point from this article is that it focuses on issues that aren’t hardly publicized or talked about in the Hmong community. However, I feel that the author of this article sounds more irrate than being directive on his/her reason of what it means to be Hmong. The author started out writing about his/her points of what it means to be Hmong, but then ended up writing about sexual abuse – two very important, but very different topics. It would be interesting to see another article stem from this where the article focuses on sexual abuse in the Hmong community and what can and should be done about it – mostly because it sounds like the author is somehow trying to express his/her feelings towards it and how it ties with being Hmong.
so being Hmong is being abused by older men? you should change the title of your article or something else… no wonder other looks down on us everyday….we’re always on the news whether its killing or abusing…this is sad…”people talks and remember the bad, but never the good”
being hmong is sooooo strict!…one little thing you do wrong and your reputation go bye-bye!…scks..hahah but yeah i LOVE the FOODS though!…hahah
To unknown:
In response to “so being Hmong is being abused by older men?”
and changing the title due to shame? It’s definitely exploiting some actions of Hmong men, but not exploiting all Hmong men. That’s a known fact, unknown, unless someone is overly ignorant.
What I wrote about here is not a lie. It’s not a secret either. Unfortunately, this is part of being Hmong – being vulnerable to sexual abuse. To give the personal touch in this article, I used examples involving Hmong people. Real examples. I’m ashamed of the actions of Hmong men who fall into this category, but I’m definitely proud of being Hmong.
In regards to the issue of changing the title, I did write, “This article isn’t really concerning what it means to be Hmong.”
That sentence is the second sentence in the first paragragh after reason number 10.
I hope that clarifies some issues if not all issues. I don’t mean to offend you in that way – but it’s a serious issue that I’d like people to acknowledge and work towards helping children and others, who may be your children, nieces, nephews, cousins, friends…
sorry for the english up there – i’m short on time.
Well I was wondering because I live in the subborbs and don’t really experience Hmong cultural so I’m just wondering thats all. To ya!
I’m rather sorry that you were a victim but
I’m Hmong and it’s rather offensive that they allow stupid people to write stories that are incorrect. Now if you want to write something please cover all the facts and from all angles and don’t make it seem like all Hmong people have someone in their family that molests or has molested; because when you mention QUOTE #10. “We may know of a father, an uncle, a grandfather, a brother, a friend, or a friend of a friend who may have in the past, or maybe, from hearsay or rumors about these individuals who have traveled to Laos or Thailand to fulfill their double life as a pedophile.” you are stating every Hmong person must be associated someone that has molested WHICH IS WRONG AND FALSE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW ANYONE OR HAS ANY ASSOCIATIONS WITH ANY PERSON THAT HAS MOLESTED BEFORE, SORRY BUT NOT ALL FAMILIES AND CLANS IS MEST UP LIKE YOUR FAMILY. It just offends me when stupid people write things and don’t do a good job by clarifying and stating the facts and therefore when the outside world reads upon it they come away with a bad conclusion. Next time please get all your facts straight and put some factual numbers out and don’t assume and make things up because not everyone knows of someone that has molested in their Hmong family. Geez it’s people like you that don’t know how to write that actually gets the chance to put things out there for non-Hmongs to read thats why they think you and your Hmong peole are stupid, thanks but no thanks. Goodbye.